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Is it okay to comment about the gender of a pregnant woman's baby?

As a mum of two girls & pregnant with our third bub, everyday is another onslaught of insensitive comments about the unknown gender of our baby. I thought I would write this in the hope that others could read it and adjust the conversations they have with pregnant women, who either know or don’t know what the gender is.

Firstly, for many, gender really doesn’t matter. For many, a healthy baby is what is important and it’s as simple as that. Honestly, we weren’t expecting to fall pregnant with our third (we also weren’t expecting our first) so we know how to roll with whatever life deals out. We even thrive off the unknown and have never typically been a couple who make plans, it’s just not our style. We were incredibly content with our two girls, we liked the thought of not being out-numbered and life seems to have a great balance at the moment. As soon as we fell pregnant with our third, we knew life would be a little crazier and the fact that we have created another life is beyond exciting for us.

What we absolutely do NOT care about is whether we have a boy or a girl and because we already have two of the same gender, it seems to be all other people want to ask us about. When we announced our pregnancy we were welcomed with comments like:

  • “Were you trying for a boy?”
    Aah no, firstly we weren’t trying and secondly, is that even a thing?
  • “Fingers crossed for Matt there’s an extra part this time.”
    Matt really couldn’t give a shit if our baby has a doodle or not, jerk.
  • “Ooh Matt will be running when they all hit puberty if you have another girl.”
    Is there some magic rule about having three daughters that makes this so? Do boys skip puberty and coming of age altogether?
  • “If you have another girl, you’ll certainly have your hands full.”
    Pretty sure we will have our hands full regardless, but thanks.
  • “Are you hoping for a boy?”
    I am hoping you get out of my face.
  • “Bit of pressure on Matt to carry on the family name.”

The last one is actually my favourite, like we are of royal descent and it actually matters! I mean, REALLY? These are the main comments I now seem to get on a very regular basis by everyone, friends, family & people I have just met. I get it, it’s the go-to conversation starter when talking to a pregnant woman (for some reason) and I am sure that none of these comments are said with anything other than the best intentions. However, it makes me feel like if we have a girl, there is going to be a large group of disappointed people rather than a large group of excited people that we have had a baby. It’s fecked.

So if you’re one of the people that make comments like the above, I urge you to get creative and think about what you’re actually saying! Don’t get me wrong, you can ask about the gender, but for the love of cheese on toast, PLEASE REFRAIN from commenting further!

Speaking of, it’s time to crank some cheese on toast. Image for dreaming purposes only, what I would give for some soft cheese!

Cheese on Toast

 

When was the last time you brightened someone's day just because?

Hello friends, it’s been a while.

I have had a huge break from motivation over the last 6 weeks or so and have most certainly been avoiding writing a blog. I have been doing a lot of de-cluttering around our house lately and whilst it has been a breath of fresh air to get rid of so much excess, it has also been a huge trip down memory lane as I have delved into all of our keepsakes. It has been so wonderful looking on past photos and appreciating that I am no longer an awkward teenager with bad skin, braces, bangs & wearing a midi top to show my belly button ring, paired with oversized, ripped jeans with patches that I ironed onto the legs *cringe*. I have also been able to appreciate seeing photos that capture the beginning of my relationship with Matt and how we have grown together over the years and reminiscing on the places we have travelled to together and the experiences we have shared. There aren’t too many photos printed of the girls because that’s the age that we live in and that in itself is a bit sad.

What I found confronting, was rediscovering all the little letters to Matt & my friends, the cards, random notes of appreciation and the realisation that those random notes of appreciation / acts of kindness don’t happen anywhere near as often as they used to.

Why does that happen?
As we get older, do these little, cute ways to brighten the day of someone you love start to become more and more rare because our lives become more and more busy? Is it something that happens once you have kids because everyday feels like I am trying to find new ways to make them smile and feel special?

Whatever is behind it, I have made the decision that I refuse to let that happen! How long does it take to write someone a simple note & post it, maybe 5 minutes? Would they remember and cherish it? Absolutely. So would it be worth it? Of course!

So today I am going to do something for my husband, Matt. He is such a strong support for me. He takes the girls to preschool 3 times a week because he wants to, 100% backs me in anything I dream to do, makes all of our clothing racks outside of his full-time job and above all, he is present in our family and a brilliant dad to our girls who just adore him.

I decided to write Matt a little note, drive to his work & leave it on his car.Love note

When he got home I cooked him homemade chicken schnitzel (his favourite) & we had such a great night because our moods were brighter than usual! He was so touched at the letter that he came home with a little colourful rose for Zahli & a bunch of flowers for me.
 Zahli Rose

While I didn’t write the letter to get something back, it made me realise how easy it is to pay it forward and imagine what life could be like if that was the norm? Where you set out to brighten someone’s day and they in turn, set out to do the same for you or someone else. I urge you to have a think about someone you could do a little something for and if you do, share it on this post or tag us on Instagram or Facebook, I would love to see other people going out of their way to make someone else’s day! What have you got to lose by doing it? Nothing. What have you got to lose by not doing it? Endorphins.

(*Cue Legally Blonde quote, “And happy people just don’t shoot their husbands!”)

THE SWAY CHAIR.

It's love.

I am a huge fan of the natural, neutral, minimalist, Scandi, Nordic, *insert other styling buzz word here*, light and breezy way of styling a space. You know the look I am talking about, those indoor and outdoor rooms that you see floating around Instagram & Pinterest that make you feel like you’re on holidays & often give you total home envy. The ones where you immediately feel like an inspiring book to read with a cup of organic, locally sourced, home brewed unicorn tears, in your crisp white kaftan with a green tropical plant perfectly shading you from the bluest sky you have ever seen.

Enter, The Sway Chair. My way of bringing this feeling into our home with one piece of furniture that makes me feel like I am no longer in the suburbs of North-Western Sydney, I can be anywhere that my mind dares me to go. I initially saw these chairs in a bigger size and thought it would be so great for my daughters to enjoy, so we found some beautiful people who were happy to create a magical chair (we are still working on it to physically transport you to anywhere you desire) in colours that kids will get excited about! Available in white for those airy spaces, hot pink & turquoise, these chairs will make a next level addition to any home & soon become everyone’s favourite hideaway in the house.

Handmade from rattan, which is a sustainable material that keeps the forests intact and provides jobs for people in surrounding villages in Indonesia. They are best served with a side of one of our teepees in the coordinating colour, or even the Bayside Table to rest your inspiring books on and anything else essential to your ultimate #swaymoment.

We created a few different rooms for kids to inspire your creativity on different ways to bring The Sway into your world & I am hanging (pun intended) to see one in an outdoor room! Challenge accepted anyone?