As a mum of two girls & pregnant with our third bub, everyday is another onslaught of insensitive comments about the unknown gender of our baby. I thought I would write this in the hope that others could read it and adjust the conversations they have with pregnant women, who either know or don’t know what the gender is.
Firstly, for many, gender really doesn’t matter. For many, a healthy baby is what is important and it’s as simple as that. Honestly, we weren’t expecting to fall pregnant with our third (we also weren’t expecting our first) so we know how to roll with whatever life deals out. We even thrive off the unknown and have never typically been a couple who make plans, it’s just not our style. We were incredibly content with our two girls, we liked the thought of not being out-numbered and life seems to have a great balance at the moment. As soon as we fell pregnant with our third, we knew life would be a little crazier and the fact that we have created another life is beyond exciting for us.
What we absolutely do NOT care about is whether we have a boy or a girl and because we already have two of the same gender, it seems to be all other people want to ask us about. When we announced our pregnancy we were welcomed with comments like:
“Were you trying for a boy?”
Aah no, firstly we weren’t trying and secondly, is that even a thing?
“Fingers crossed for Matt there’s an extra part this time.”
Matt really couldn’t give a shit if our baby has a doodle or not, jerk.
“Ooh Matt will be running when they all hit puberty if you have another girl.”
Is there some magic rule about having three daughters that makes this so? Do boys skip puberty and coming of age altogether?
“If you have another girl, you’ll certainly have your hands full.”
Pretty sure we will have our hands full regardless, but thanks.
“Are you hoping for a boy?”
I am hoping you get out of my face.
- “Bit of pressure on Matt to carry on the family name.”
The last one is actually my favourite, like we are of royal descent and it actually matters! I mean, REALLY? These are the main comments I now seem to get on a very regular basis by everyone, friends, family & people I have just met. I get it, it’s the go-to conversation starter when talking to a pregnant woman (for some reason) and I am sure that none of these comments are said with anything other than the best intentions. However, it makes me feel like if we have a girl, there is going to be a large group of disappointed people rather than a large group of excited people that we have had a baby. It’s fecked.
So if you’re one of the people that make comments like the above, I urge you to get creative and think about what you’re actually saying! Don’t get me wrong, you can ask about the gender, but for the love of cheese on toast, PLEASE REFRAIN from commenting further!
Speaking of, it’s time to crank some cheese on toast. Image for dreaming purposes only, what I would give for some soft cheese!